18 August - Saint Helena

Since I am away celebrating, here are some favorite images of my patron saint:

Giovanni Baptista Cima, 1495

From The Golden Legend, 1489

Cranach?  The headdress is marvelous.

Anonymous icon.  I love the Byzantine jeweled robes.

16 December - While the light lasts

I shall remember while the light lives yet

And in the night-time I shall not forget...

It was on this day some years ago that Mrs. Rudd became, suddenly and without warning, Widow Rudd.

There is never any good time of year to lose a loved one, but this season between two of the most family/friend oriented of our holidays – Lights! Decorations! Parties! Presents! Joy, Thanksgiving, and Goodwill! – seems like the worst time.  Everything is against it. 

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“What did you get me for Christmas this year?”

“I’m not telling you.”

“You didn’t get me socks and underwear again, did you?”

“No, dear.  Trust me.”

Of course, I got him socks and underwear.  It was traditional.  Just like the “Old Spice” set that the kids gave him every year, and the bottle of expensively good Irish whiskey, so that himself could have a ‘taste’ (as he called it) at the end of the day.  All under the tree awaiting Christmas morning.

And then… and then…

O Lord, why?

We had a wake.  We had a funeral.  We laughed and told stories at the wake.  We cried and listened to the gun salute at the funeral.

Lights, decorations, Christmas songs everywhere.  I went home, turned off the tree lights, crawled into the bottle of expensively good Irish whiskey and set up housekeeping there.

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I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.

So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:

Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely.  Crowned

With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.

Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.

Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.

A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,

A formula, a phrase remains, - but the best is lost.

The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love, –

They are gone.  They are gone to feed the roses.  Elegant and curled

Is the blossom.  Fragrant is the blossom.  I know.  But I do not approve.

More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.

Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave

Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;

Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.

I know.  But I do not approve.  And I am not resigned. 

Of your charity, please pray for the soul of Mr. Rudd, a gallant Marine and a Christian gentleman.

From Erotion – Charles A. Swinburne

Dirge without Music – Edna St. Vincent Millay

11 September - A Prayer or Two

+ God of peace, bring Your peace to our violent world;
peace in the hearts of all men and women
and peace among the nations of the earth.
Turn to Your way of love
those whose hearts and minds are consumed with hatred.

God of understanding,
overwhelmed by the magnitude of this tragedy,
we seek Your light and guidance
as we confront such terrible events.
Grant that those whose lives were spared
may live so that the lives lost...
may not have been lost in vain.
Comfort and console us,
strengthen us in hope,
and give us the wisdom and courage
to work tirelessly for a world
where true peace and love reign
among nations and in the hearts of all.

Amen +

This is the prayer card given to us today in church, by the Knights of Columbus for their World Day of Prayer for Peace.  It is the prayer of Pope Benedict XVI at Ground Zero, April 20, 2008.

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On the other hand, there is Psalm 108:
Unto the end, a psalm for David.  O God, be not thou silent in my praise: for the mouth of the wicked and the mouth of the deceitful man is opened against me.  They have spoken against me with deceitful tongues; and they have compassed me about with words of hatred; and have fought against me without cause.  Instead of making me a return of love, they detracted me: but I gave myself to prayer. And they repaid me evil for good: and hatred for my love.

• Set Thou the sinner over him: and may the devil stand at his right hand.  
• When he is judged, may he go out condemned; and may his prayer be turned to sin.  
• May his days be few: and his bishopric let another take.  
• May his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow.  
• Let his children be carried about vagabonds, and beg; and let them be cast out of their dwellings.
• May the usurer search all his substance: and let strangers plunder his labours.  
• May there be none to help him: nor none to pity his fatherless offspring.  
• May his posterity be cut off; in one generation may his name be blotted out.  
• May the iniquity of his fathers be remembered in the sight of the Lord: and let not the sin of his mother be blotted out.  
• May they be before the Lord continually, and let the memory of them perish from the earth: because he remembered not to shew mercy, but persecuted the poor man and the beggar; and the broken in heart, to put him to death.  And he loved cursing, and it shall come unto him: and he would not have blessing, and it shall be far from him. And he put on cursing, like a garment: and it went in like water into his entrails, and like oil in his bones.  May it be unto him like a garment which covereth him; and like a girdle with which he is girded continually. This is the work of them who detract me before the Lord; and who speak evils against my soul.

But Thou, O Lord, do with me for Thy name's sake: because Thy mercy is sweet.  Do Thou deliver me, for I am poor and needy, and my heart is troubled within me.  I am taken away like the shadow when it declineth: and I am shaken off as locusts.  My knees are weakened through fasting: and my flesh is changed for oil.  And I am become a reproach to them: they saw me and they shaked their heads,

Help me, O Lord my God; save me according to Thy mercy.  And let them know that this is Thy hand: and that Thou, O Lord, hast done it.  They will curse and Thou will bless: let them that rise up against me be confounded: but Thy servant shall rejoice.  Let them that detract me be clothed with shame: and let them be covered with their confusion as with a double cloak.  I will give great thanks to the Lord with my mouth: and in the midst of many I will praise Him.  Because He hath stood at the right hand of the poor, to save my soul from persecutors.

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You decide.

11 January - Lazy Day

Weather: the weather today foretells the weather of November
Cloudy, and not overly cold.
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Today just feels like a lazy day, so I am going to yield to temptation.

13 November - Fantasia

Today in 1940, Walt Disney's "Fantasia" was released.  You can read all about it here, but as it is the Widow's very favorite Disney movie of all time, she will leave off writing for the day and celebrate by watching it again.

Accompanied, of course, by a huge tub of buttered popcorn.  And Jujubes.  I love Jujubes.  Nothing brings back memories of early movie theaters like the smell of popcorn, and stepping on Jujubes.

10 October -

The Widow is in mourning today for a dear friend.  Life is so much emptier now.

Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her.  May her soul rest in peace. Amen.

11 September